Hello Sobriety

Man. 75 days! I can hardly believe it. It has gone by so fast. I remember the first time I tried to quit. It was for three months. What a different experience that was from this. Those three months were nail-biting, hour-counting kinda days. But man, this time around, it's different. Way different. This time around I hardly even think about drinking. And while I admit I counted for this post (kinda lucked out with the rather impressive, well-rounded number, huh?), I really haven't paid much attention to the days. Well, that's not true. I haven't counted the days. I have paid plenty attention to them, tho. Why? Because they are wonderful!! And no, I don't mean all unicorns and pixie dust... OK, maybe a little. But in a for reals, my life is better, kind of way. Wanna know how?? Here are all the lovely ways my life has changed/grown/improved in my first 75 days: 1. I wake up earlier and am clear headed. 2. I go to bed tired. Really tired. And I fall asleep fast. Withi...

As of today, I've been alcohol-free for forty-six days. (Woot! Woot!) And to be quite honest, it's been incredible!! I rarely, almost never, have the desire to drink. I even went on a date the other night where he ordered a glass of wine. I ordered tea. He offered me a sip to share how disappointing the wine was and I kindly declined. He gave me kudos for my self discipline, I proudly accepted the kudos... we have a second date... but I digress. Drinking Dreams!! So twice now I've dreamt of drinking. Both within a few days of each other. In the first dream I was drinking beer... which I hardly ever even drank in real life! The second was wine... a bit more accurate. I remember in both dreams being fully aware of my promise to sobriety. And I knew I was breaking that promise. I remember saying "it's okay. I can drink now and again. It's cool." I also remember an over-whelming sense of guilt the moment the alcohol passed my lips. A sudden sense of FUCK! Fu...

It's you D20, isn't it?? You're what's causing all these crazy emotions, aren't you?? The over-the-moon happiness as I sit on the couch, quickly followed by the uncontrollable stream of tears as I walk Bodhi. This is the emotional roller coaster of the first month of sobriety. I remember you well from a year ago. Same shit, different day, some might say. Here's how it went last time... rewind to October 2014 when I first embarked on a three-month sobriety stint. I was about two weeks in and struggling with absolute exhaustion. I couldn't keep my eyes open (turns out I had a severe iron deficiency... but that's another story for another day.) When I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a minute, I cried. All the time. In the shower. At the market. In the car. And for no apparent reason. I mean, anything and everything would send me off into a blubbering world of water-works. Eventually it passed and I made it through the introductory dark side, whe...

Ok, so let me begin by saying, I have never been a runner. Never. Not in high school. Not in college. Whenever anyone would ask about running, I was the girl that would snicker and say, "I only run when being chased." Well, not so much any more. Last year, I signed up to attend Wanderlust here in Chicago. Wanderlust is a national festival that moves from city to city and consists of a 5K (3.1 miles), an hour of yoga and wraps up with group meditation. Being the dedicated yogini that I am, I mostly signed up for the yoga and meditation, but figured what the heck. I'll give the 5k a whirl. So I invited a dear friend of mine to attend the event with me. I'll never forget the rainy, grey Chicago day. Not ideal for yoga in the grass. But I digress, first to the race. I remember telling my friend that I have no idea how this is going to go so if she wants to just take off, I'll meet her back at the finish line. (I should note that my friend is a trained athlete who comp...

 ... 27 bottles of WHAT??! That's right. OMG. 27 bottles of wine is what my little, tiny family went through over six days during the holidays. That's approximately 4.5 bottles per day or 1.125 bottles per person, per day. Either way, that's a shit ton of wine. No matter how you look at it. According to the CDC , a standard drink is equal to 14.0 grams (0.6 ounces) of pure alcohol. Which looks a bit like this:     • 12-ounces of beer (5% alcohol content)     • 8-ounces of malt liquor (7% alcohol content)     • 5-ounces of wine (12% alcohol content)     • 1.5-ounces or a “shot” of 80-proof (40% alcohol content) distilled spirits or liquor Now, to put this into wine perspective. One 750 mill bottle is equal to 25.3605 ounces. So if 5 ounces of wine is the daily allowance per person, that means each person in my family had approximately 28.53 ounces of wine per day. That's 5.7 times the CDC recommended a...

So here's how day three goes... this guy I've been "dating" for just a few weeks... four to be exact... splits up with me. Now, it's no big deal, right? I mean, it's only been four weeks... throw the holidays in the mix, and well, it's been like two days. So, really. No. Big. Deal. Here's the thing... he's sober. And was a bit of an inspiration to me in finally deciding to commit to a year of sobriety. So, I kinda liked the idea of him being around. But he's not gonna be and that's OK. Because I believe everyone comes into your life for a reason. To teach you something. Or show you something. Or as a marker, telling you you're on the right path. MM (as we'll call him) was the third alcohol-free man to enter my life in the past 9 months. (Talk about signs from the universe!) He was certainly a marker. He was sent to assure me that I'm on the right path. Because of him, I found the courage to accept my past and to be honest w...

Yoga has been a part of my life for the past seven years. However, it wasn't until I moved back to Chicago two years ago that I really became committed to my practice. I found a studio, Core Power Yoga , that felt like home. The people. The practice. The heat :) After a year of consistent practice and noticing not only the physical changes in me, but more importantly, the spiritual changes and the mental clarity, I decided to pursue my 200-hr teaching certification. During this training, I learned about the 8-Limb Path in accordance with Ashtanga Yoga and the teachings of Patanjali . The 8 limbs begin with guidelines for interacting with others and finish with ultimate bliss and Self-realization.  They show us the path for gaining control of the mind and escaping constant mental clutter and emotional ups and downs.  The 8 limbs are yama (social discipline), niyama (individual discipline), asana (the physical practice we all think of as yoga), pranayama (breath control), ...

'tis the season for resolutions... so here I go. I've decided to quit drinking. For one year. Maybe more. But for now, one year. Quitting drinking is something I've thought a lot about over the past two, three ... five years. That little voice inside me that says " quit drinking ." Sometimes, it's just a whisper. Other times, it's a roaring scream. Every time, it's ignored. Until now. January 1, 2016. I'm 42 years old and I'm finally ready. More than ready, really. Excited!! For the first time, I'm not worried (or as worried) about what others will think or how I'll have to explain myself. As far as I'm concerned, I won't (for now). I'm simply not drinking. I'm kicking off a Sober 2016. I'm saying goodbye to beer, wine and all the yummy spirits that have graced my glassware over the years and I'm saying hello to sobriety! Hello to all the wonderful things to come. To eyes wide open and a mind clear from the h...