Dreaming of Drinking

As of today, I've been alcohol-free for forty-six days. (Woot! Woot!) And to be quite honest, it's been incredible!! I rarely, almost never, have the desire to drink. I even went on a date the other night where he ordered a glass of wine. I ordered tea. He offered me a sip to share how disappointing the wine was and I kindly declined. He gave me kudos for my self discipline, I proudly accepted the kudos... we have a second date... but I digress. Drinking Dreams!!

So twice now I've dreamt of drinking. Both within a few days of each other. In the first dream I was drinking beer... which I hardly ever even drank in real life! The second was wine... a bit more accurate. I remember in both dreams being fully aware of my promise to sobriety. And I knew I was breaking that promise. I remember saying "it's okay. I can drink now and again. It's cool." I also remember an over-whelming sense of guilt the moment the alcohol passed my lips. A sudden sense of FUCK! Fuckity, fuck, FUCK! Now I have to start all over. I can no longer say my last drink was New Years Eve of 2015. No... instead, my last drink was right fucking now. Shit. Shit. Shit.

But then... I wake up.  IT WAS A DREAM!! Thank you, Jesus!! I am still alcohol-free!! I am still living my best self ever.

I am not drinking.

Clearly this is a sign. A message from my subconscious self letting me know the thoughts and cravings are still there. Lingering below the surface. Asking me, tempting me, to dance with the beast again. Well, one thing is certain - and I need this to sink in real good, subconscious self - real life is far better than any dream.

And to that I say good bye, dreaming of drinking. Hello, Sobriety!

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