Hello, Day 20. How the f*ck are you??

It's you D20, isn't it?? You're what's causing all these crazy emotions, aren't you?? The over-the-moon happiness as I sit on the couch, quickly followed by the uncontrollable stream of tears as I walk Bodhi. This is the emotional roller coaster of the first month of sobriety. I remember you well from a year ago. Same shit, different day, some might say. Here's how it went last time... rewind to October 2014 when I first embarked on a three-month sobriety stint. I was about two weeks in and struggling with absolute exhaustion. I couldn't keep my eyes open (turns out I had a severe iron deficiency... but that's another story for another day.) When I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a minute, I cried. All the time. In the shower. At the market. In the car. And for no apparent reason. I mean, anything and everything would send me off into a blubbering world of water-works. Eventually it passed and I made it through the introductory dark side, where I was then kindly greeted by sunshine on my face and a swelling heart. But, f*ck. That first month was a doozy. And here we go again...

But this time, I'm ready. Now that we've taken a moment to reacquaint ourselves and confirm I'm not losing my shit, lets get to work. Lets get through the ugly emo of month one. Lets cry it out. Laugh it out. Love it out. Lets yell at the moon and sob into pillows. Lets eat chocolate and ice cream. Lets run and flow. Because I can do this. I can and will feel every little emotion you raise in me. I will embrace my tears as a right of passage. As progress on my journey. I will hold on to my best pal Bodhi when I feel I have nothing left to hold on to. Because in the end there is sunshine. So, let's get this party started, D20. Time's a wastin'.

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