Navigating the White-Knuckle Stage of Early Sobriety
OK, so you’re in the first few days of going alcohol-free. The days where you feel like you’re hanging on, with all you got, just not to have a drink today. I like to call this my white-knuckle stage; because there were truly times I thought I was holding on for dear life! And perhaps I was, until I found these resources to help me pull through.
Here are my personal Lucky 13 tips for navigating early sobriety:
- PODCASTS! Yes… podcasts. I listened to more podcasts than I can count. A few of my daily favorites are: The Rich Roll Podcast and Andrew Huberman has a great episode titled “What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain and Health. Epsisode 86 Definitely worth a listen!! I also really love sobriety podcasts, including Sober Shares and Keep Coming Back. For myself, it’s always comforting to hear the stories of others. Trust me… you’re not the only who’s done some crazy shit, woke up terrified to check your phone, or asked for forgiveness with your head low and your tail between your legs.
- DAY COUNTERS. There are lots of apps out there that help you count your days. I like “I AM SOBER.” There is something truly rewarding about collecting days!
- COMMUNITY. Remember, this is a journey, and it’s hard! So even if you aren’t ready to announce on social media that you are going sober, find and follow others who are. It can be a giant help just to see others and hear their stories and know that you aren’t in this alone. There are so many people that are right where you are right now, or were there, that will inspire and help keep you going. Don’t be afraid to reach out!
- EXERCISE. And lots of it. Create a healthy workout routine for yourself. There is a saying I’ve heard tossed around… “move a muscle, change a thought.” It’s amazing what a little sweat and fresh air will do! My personal faves are daily yoga sessions (hot yoga if you're interested in a sweaty, twisty cleanse) and a little running. I like mixing in a few options so I don't tire of anything, but really, do what your body craves.
- MEDITATION & PRAYER. Regardless of your personal beliefs, the power of mediation and prayer is pretty amazing. Find some time every morning and evening to say a little please help me stay sober today and thank you for keeping me clean! Not a prayer person? No problem, try a little meditation. Start with just two minutes. Sit quietly by yourself, and listen. It's okay to start by observing the sounds that surround you, but ultimately, allow yourself to turn inward. If you need something to help keep your mind from wandering, you can dedicate a mantra to your practice (a short sentence of intention, such as "yes I can"), or simply try settling in with your breath. Begin to generate long, steady inhales through the nose; long, steady exhales out the nose. Observe the quality of breath as it enters and exits the body. Soften your shoulders. Release your jaw. As this gets more comfortable, expand your breath and meditation practice to five minutes, then ten, twenty, and so on. As your practice grows, you may find that you stop observing the breath after a few rounds and simply allow yourself to settle into the stillness.
- READ. We all know reading is a great escape, as well as an opportunity to deepen our spiritual practice. I tend to lean towards spiritual readings in the morning, and fiction reads before bed. There are also some great sobriety reads out there! Always helpful at the beginning. I particularly enjoyed “Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget” by Sarah Helpola, and “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp. Whatever your genre of choice, stock up on a few good reads.
- JOURNAL. I know, journaling can feel like a t-total task and down-right downer at times. But cut yourself a break and allow the space to write down all the shit that’s going on. Talk about how you’re feeling. Or don’t. It’s your journal, you can write whatever you want. But write. It will truly make a difference in your outlook. Try to dedicate 20-30 minutes each day to write. Sometimes, we just need to release thoughts or ideas. Sometimes we just want to ramble. Whatever it is doesn’t really matter. The more you write, the easier it will become. And who knows, maybe you’ll find the songwriter, the poet, or the novelist within.
- TREAT YOURSELF! You’re probably saving some money now that you aren’t spending it on alcohol. Take yourself to dinner. Buy a fancy coffee. It doesn’t have to be big, just a a little something to say yes, I’m doing it!
- EAT THE DAMN CAKE! You may notice that your sweet tooth kicks it up a notch after you eliminate all the sugars you were getting from alcohol. I say, indulge that sweet tooth! Over time, those sugary cravings will subside, but during the white-knuckle stage, if you need cake, eat the cake!
- MOCKTAILS, PLZ! Create a mocktail that you truly, truly enjoy drinking. And not only enjoy drinking but look forward to drinking... and then only drink it during the hours you would normally go for the alcohol. My personal go-to is tart cherry concentrate, sparkling water, a splash of tonic and an extra juicy lime. It can also help to put it in a fancy glass! If it looks special, feels special in your hand, and tastes extra yummy, your mind will have a very hard time thinking about the other. Side note: Tart cherry concentrate (not cherry juice) is also a natural source of melatonin, which is a sleep enhancer. Our body naturally creates melatonin, but this little extra boost before bed is awfully nice.
- SLEEP. After years of neglecting my sleep, I am really falling in love with sleep, again. (I’m also a big, wild dreamer!! Which makes my sleep especially entertaining, to say the least.) I suggest setting a new bedtime and sticking with it. It may be tough to sleep at first. Insomnia is a real deal in the first few days/weeks/months of sobriety. But your sleep will improve! Just stick with it. And if sleep evades you, please avoid jumping on your phone or binging in front of the TV. Neither screen will help you catch the restful zzzz’s you crave. Grab that book! Keep the lights dim but bright enough to read. Or try a little meditation from bed. You'll be back asleep in no time.
- THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Just remember, everything moves on. Thoughts. Cravings. The good. The bad. All of it. If you’re struggling, take pause and allow yourself to feel the moment. In the first few weeks of sobriety, I cried A LOT. Out of nowhere. And for what seemed like no apparent reason. But instead of freaking out, I allowed myself to sit in it. To feel my emotions. To cry as much as I needed. But before you allow yourself to through in the towel of avoidance, try this... THE 5 SECOND RULE. I was recently listening to an amazing episode of The Rich Roll Podcast, and he had Mel Robbins on, author, speaker and creator of the 5-second rule (another awesome account to follow @melrobbins), which she explains as “The 5 Second Rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. The moment you feel an instinct or a desire to act on a goal or a commitment, use the Rule.” I find this rule to also be incredibly helpful when it comes to taking pause. Allowing yourself time to process a feeling, emotion or moment. Count backwards, take pause, then choose wisely.
- AND LASTLY, FUCKING BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. This may be even harder than giving up the booze. But trust me, you are stronger than any little (or giant) craving. So take a moment, everyday, to remind yourself that you are worth it. You are stronger than you think and you can do hard things. You deserve all the love and happiness you can possibly imagine.. and then a shit ton more!
PLEASE NOTE: Not everyone who quits drinking should go it alone or cold turkey. If you believe you need help to quit drinking, please call 1-800-662-HELP (4357). This number is available 24-hours a day. If you feel you are in immediate danger due to your drinking or substance abuse, please call 911.
Stay strong my sober friends!
Love & Light
xot
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