Hello Sobriety

As of today, I've been alcohol-free for forty-six days. (Woot! Woot!) And to be quite honest, it's been incredible!! I rarely, almost never, have the desire to drink. I even went on a date the other night where he ordered a glass of wine. I ordered tea. He offered me a sip to share how disappointing the wine was and I kindly declined. He gave me kudos for my self discipline, I proudly accepted the kudos... we have a second date... but I digress. Drinking Dreams!! So twice now I've dreamt of drinking. Both within a few days of each other. In the first dream I was drinking beer... which I hardly ever even drank in real life! The second was wine... a bit more accurate. I remember in both dreams being fully aware of my promise to sobriety. And I knew I was breaking that promise. I remember saying "it's okay. I can drink now and again. It's cool." I also remember an over-whelming sense of guilt the moment the alcohol passed my lips. A sudden sense of FUCK! Fu...

It's you D20, isn't it?? You're what's causing all these crazy emotions, aren't you?? The over-the-moon happiness as I sit on the couch, quickly followed by the uncontrollable stream of tears as I walk Bodhi. This is the emotional roller coaster of the first month of sobriety. I remember you well from a year ago. Same shit, different day, some might say. Here's how it went last time... rewind to October 2014 when I first embarked on a three-month sobriety stint. I was about two weeks in and struggling with absolute exhaustion. I couldn't keep my eyes open (turns out I had a severe iron deficiency... but that's another story for another day.) When I was able to keep my eyes open for more than a minute, I cried. All the time. In the shower. At the market. In the car. And for no apparent reason. I mean, anything and everything would send me off into a blubbering world of water-works. Eventually it passed and I made it through the introductory dark side, whe...